So i have been reminiscing on a lot in life now, the way many of my friends have lost their lives the way i keep falling onto their last web entry whether it be on xanga or anywhere else, it brings back so many memories of the past, of laughter, joy, sadness, pain, and a new kind of joy knowing they are leading a better life now then they may possibly have before. A lot have changed for me as well, fell out of love once knew a love so true into a world where its so much harder to find love again after spending four years with one person and now expected to move on, almost as easily as they did. It scared me at first not knowing where i belonged but oh well. Then people showed up in my life unexpected o love, to hurt, and to use me for things ill never be sure of. I grew up is what it came down too, after my 21st birthday i knew no more of this BS but now it was time to choose a direction and take it in my life. That direction is still cloudy to me, but i have chosen, where it leads me too i will never know but i have faith that i will be guided there by all of my peers. Have i had offers of engagement, absolutly but i turned them down because i was not ready and will not be ready for a couple of years and they are aware of that, i do not wanna rush into anything i wanna live my life, i wanna find someone who will love me for me, and put up with me being a fire fighter knowing someday i may never comeback, and know that its a chance they are willing to take. I have grown up besides whatever anyone else says about me, i have and I know i have and thats all that really matters to me as of now and forever more.
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